Tuesday, 15 October 2013

Top Five Parenting Mistakes and How to Correct Them

Reality check - By now you would have realized your kids didn't come with an instruction booklet. But what does come is years of experience from those who have done it before. Making the most of the advice and assistance of experienced professionals, your parents and even other parents can help you avoid the most common parenting mistakes.

It is very difficult to admit that you may be a “bad parent.” But technically, we are all just feeling our way. In reality it could only be chalked up as being a "not-so-good parent" if we neglect to use the resources available to us in order to keep our children on the right track.

Common Parenting Mistakes
I have listed below five of the most common parenting mistakes we all make. But, don’t worry, we’ll also discuss what needs to be done to fix them.

#1 - “Do as I say but not as I do”

I'm sure you would have seen this one in other parents, but it gets a lot of parents in trouble. You scream at your arguing child not to do something or cursing is wrong, but then they catch you at it. For a young child, conflicting behaviors can be confusing. For a teenager, it just gives them more ammunition to throw at you during an argument.

The solution: Correct your behavior. Instead of defending your actions, follow the example you want to set for your children. Apologize for cursing and take steps to quit smoking. Children learn quickly and will understand that adults make mistakes too, but they also work to correct them.

#2 - Comparing one child to another

As children grow up they have enough pressure to “find” themselves without their parents adding fuel to the fire. Pointing out one child’s good points or lack of them in comparison to another sibling increases sibling rivalry. It can drive a wedge between them and cause problems all around in the family.

The solution: Kids need their parents to always be in their corner. Instead of comparing, point out what makes each child unique. Give praise to a child for who they are in their own right.

#3 - Doing nothing

When you see that a problem arises, resist the urge to bury your head in the sand. Ignoring an attitude problem or the fact that your child is still bed wetting at seven years of age could mask a serious issue that needs to be resolved.

The solution: Be proactive. Show you care and get to the bottom of the issue before it gets any worse. Talk to your child and set ground rules. Visit your pediatrician for a thorough check-up to make sure your child is fine.

#4 - Bribes

Every parent gives their child a piece of candy or lets them stay up late once in a while. The problem comes when you use bribes constantly to get them to follow the rules. Even a baby a few weeks old will learn quickly that they can manipulate parents.

The solution: Give privileges as a reward for good behavior instead of as a way to gain compliancy.

#5 - Great expectations

Each child is different. Just because the textbooks say that they should be forming words at 10 months doesn’t mean that your child is abnormal if they are behind that curve. Frustration leads to pushing your child too hard which can also lead to behavior and self-esteem issues.

The solution: Have a doctor evaluate your child. If there is nothing physically or mentally wrong, exercise patience and allow them to develop at their own pace.

Don't put yourself under un-necessary pressure. Just like children, parents aren’t expected to be perfect but we should learn from our mistakes

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